Mother Asks Why Son's Savings Earn Less Than Sharma Ji's Son's Fixed Deposit

The Daily Rupee, from The IndiaPay Times satire desk. This is satire.

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FREMONT, CA. A mother in Pune questioned her son’s savings strategy by video call on Wednesday, citing a screenshot of Sharma Ji’s son’s fixed deposit that was cropped so tightly it showed only a number and part of a thumb, the son confirmed.

“Sharma Ji’s boy has put money in NRE, and it is growing only,” the mother said, holding the phone close to her face, as she does when delivering verdicts. “Your money is sitting in America doing nothing. Like a guest.”

The son, a software manager who asked not to be named because his mother may read this, said his US savings account had been “performing adequately.” His mother asked who had said that. He said the app. She asked whether the app was a relative.

Within the hour, the screenshot had been forwarded to the family WhatsApp group, where an uncle in Sharjah replied with the word “Correct” and nothing else. A cousin asked what NRE stood for. Three people answered with three different expansions. By evening the group had formed a committee of two to study the matter, neither of whom has ever opened an NRE account.

Sharma Ji’s son was not available for comment. Neighbors in Pune said they have not seen him in person since 2014, though they described his fixed deposit as “very strong.” The son in Fremont said he has never met him either, but feels he knows him “from the tone.”

A senior researcher at an institute nobody could name said comparing your savings to those of a person you have never met is “the oldest form of financial planning in the family, and the only one with full participation.” He added that the cropped thumb is a standard feature of the genre. “The thumb is there for credibility,” he said. “Nobody knows whose it is.”

The son spent Wednesday night building a spreadsheet with columns for interest rate, tax treatment, and currency movement. Near midnight he added a fourth column titled “Mummy.” At press time it contained no formulas.

By Thursday morning he had reached a conclusion. The right answer, he found, depended on several things, none of which fit in a screenshot. He called his mother to explain this and spoke for six minutes. She listened to the first ninety seconds.

“Okay, okay, do whatever is correct,” she said. “Did you eat?”

Not satire: before you take sides in the family debate, here is a real look at how NRE fixed deposit rates stack up and who actually comes out ahead. Our guide, The 7% NRE FD Arbitrage: Are You Leaving Money On The Table?, has the real numbers.

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